“Say what you wanna say,
“Brave” – Sara Bareilles
and let the words fall out.
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave.”
The key to my happiness lies in my ability to connect with my values during challenging times, and having the gratitude and emotional agility to see things in a fresh and creative way.
And, of course, eating chips.
Forged in family.
Values are the steady anchors of our lives, grounding us in moments of both darkness and light. They don’t always need words to define them; instead, they emerge through our choices, instincts, and the seemingly small decisions we make each day.
Rooted in family and shaped by the resilient women who came before me, my own core beliefs were forged from a profound sense of admiration, loyalty, and gratitude. These values have been tested time and again by life’s challenges, and I’ve stumbled more than once trying to live by what I hold dear. Yet, even in the face of adversity, these beliefs remain a steadfast compass, inspiring me to approach life with kindness, accountability, and compassion—essential tools for navigating its complexities with purpose and clarity.
Tempered through adulthood.
It wasn’t always clear what these values would mean to me or how they would serve me as I grew older. But, as I stepped into adulthood, life began testing them in ways I could never have anticipated. The once-vague and unspoken principles I carried from childhood became a stabilizing force when everything else felt uncertain—a quiet companion reminding me of who I am, what I stand for, and, most importantly, what I hope to pass down to the next generation.
Welded by connection.
Values, I’ve come to understand, aren’t just about personal beliefs—they’re about connection. They’re the invisible threads that link us to our past and guide us toward a future that feels authentic and true. They shape our actions and define our character, quietly influencing how we live, love, and are loved—ultimately revealing the core of our identity.
Hammered by courage.
From the moment I accepted that first piece of chewing gum from the missionary man who visited us each Saturday to my defiant stand against bullies, I began learning that true strength lies in the courage to live by my own sense of right and wrong, even if it means standing alone.
It can be challenging to stay true to one’s values when others see you as an obstacle in their pursuit of self-interest, but it’s essential. The most difficult moments in life are often the ones that test who we truly are. Yet, these challenges also have the power to reveal our true priorities, uncover hidden strengths, deepen our convictions, and create space for meaningful reflection.
The lessons I learned as a child were only a taste of the tests that lay ahead: my mother’s death, a husband’s betrayal, a fractured family, and a future that felt suddenly uncertain. These weren’t the challenges I’d envisioned when I first became a mother, nor the dreams I’d carefully crafted. Yet, each painful experience brought me closer to my true self.
Through these trials, my understanding of and reliance on my values deepened. Staying true to what I believed often meant making choices that were hard for others to understand. But, in the end, these choices brought clarity and a sense of alignment between my actions and the person I wanted to be. My values were no longer just ideals—they became the foundation of a life defined by authenticity and resilience.
They are the essence of who I am.
Refined through challenges.
Over time, I’ve come to accept that life doesn’t always follow a predictable path, and that’s okay. Each twist, each heartbreak, each decision grounded in these deeply held beliefs has shaped me into someone who is more whole, more grounded, and more at peace with the journey. My values have become an integral thread running through my everyday life. They live in the routines that bring me comfort, the principles I hope to pass down to my family, and the quiet moments when I reflect on all that I’ve overcome.
The beauty of values, I’ve discovered, is that they grow with us. They deepen, adapt, and expand, guiding us through every stage of life with grace. As I continue this journey, I carry with me the lessons of resilience, kindness, and unwavering self-respect. My story may not have followed a straight path, but it has been enriched by each unexpected turn, reminding me that true strength lies not in avoiding pain, but in finding meaning within it.
Crafted with authenticity.
In the end, it’s not about the challenges I faced or the losses I endured. It’s about how these values have helped me build a life that feels authentically mine—a life where I can look back with gratitude, knowing that every decision, every challenge, has brought me closer to the person I was always meant to be.
Formed by family, tested by hardships, and refined over time, values shape our identity, guide our decisions, and, ultimately, the way we live them defines the legacy we leave behind.