“My mother told me good
“Missionary Man” by Eurythmics
My mother told me strong.
She said “Be true to yourself
And you can’t go wrong.”
Concerned that we lacked the proper moral and ethical tools to make good decisions and might become involved in criminal activity due to our socioeconomic status, the bus missionaries targeted poor neighbourhoods like the one I grew up in, determined to spread the good word of their faith to the far corners of the land.
The golden ticket.
Modestly dressed in a conservative black suit and a white collared shirt, with a coordinating black hat perched neatly on his head, the friendly and familiar missionary man knocked on our door every Saturday. His presence was both comforting and commanding, exuding a sense of calm authority. With kind eyes and a gentle smile, he shared short tales of virtue and morality, imparting lessons with a soothing yet earnest voice. After his stories, he would reach into his matching black bag that complemented his functional style, and hand my sister and me pieces of chewing gum—a treat we eagerly anticipated. The missionaries had also learned that connecting to the younger generation was key to building a foundation for their message, and chewing gum was the golden ticket.
While today’s parents would quickly caution against such interactions, the tactic worked like a charm. Initially drawn by the promise of this sweet, sticky delight, I soon found myself eagerly boarding the bus alone. My sister accompanied me a handful of times, but I was strangely undeterred about going alone at the age of six or seven. I was thrilled to be a part of a community, something bigger, and eagerly put on my Sunday best and boarded the bus full of fellow potential delinquents.
Throughout the small services each week, I listened intently to the Sunday School teacher’s words, searching for meaning and inspiration in the stories shared, making crafts and playing games. Gradually, however, I grew too shy and embarrassed to ask the necessary questions I needed to complete my lessons and became too afraid to continue attending. A theme that would haunt me throughout my life and this story.
Unexpected wisdom.
Though my journey with organized religion was brief, it showed me that wisdom and guidance could be found in the most unexpected places and that sometimes even a simple piece of chewing gum could be the bridge to deeper insights (er, I mean, remember kids: stranger danger!). It reinforced my belief in the power of introspection and observation. A contemplative tendency that often set me apart, making me feel like an outsider and disconnected from a world that prioritized things differently. But it was this very trait that also allowed me to see the world in a unique light. It opened doors to questions and reflections that would guide me throughout my life.
Explore beyond the familiar.
My inquisitive spirit and drive to challenge societal norms blossomed. It reinforced my initiative to seek understanding … and my courage to stand up to my elementary school teacher who scolded me for deliberately disobeying the Hall Prefect so that I could use the bathroom that was off-limits during recess. I had already learned that some rules were meant to be broken, and seven-year-old me wasn’t afraid to tell her that the punishment didn’t fit the crime: my friend had a bloody nose, and I needed to help them.
I would be labelled sassy and mouthy, but I prefer to think that I was developing my moral code and the emotional agility to make choices that connected to my values—or, taking the road less travelled, as they say.
Finding my own path.
Stepping off the beaten path nurtured my introspection and helped me understand my strengths, weaknesses, passions, and values better. As I continued to make unconventional choices, I fostered my sense of independence and self-reliance, unknowingly developing a unique skill set that future me would use to bring leadership, innovation, and creative solutions to the workplace.
It also underscored my commitment to my principles when eight-year-old me initiated a dangerous game of chicken with the relentless bullies who harassed my sister and me each morning on our way to school. Tracking us like predators as we stepped onto the edge of the vast, open field, they would suddenly emerge to halt our journey, hurling insults about our appearance and economic status. Their words were loud enough to embarrass us in front of our peers, and they obstructed our every step with their intimidating presence.
For months I tolerated their behaviour. I’m not exactly sure why. Perhaps as the baby of the family, I had grown accustomed to being protected and expected that one of the bazillion kids who crossed the well-trodden greenspace with us (every.single.day) would surely step in and help.
Right?
As the youngest, I was also the subject of many playful jabs, usually targeted around my slender frame, and would be regularly teased for being bony, scrawny, a human beanpole—and Twiggy, “just like the international super model” my mother would always say in an attempt to turn the teasing into a stylish compliment.
Even though I might have been on the lighter side, my courage and conviction were in full supply on that particular school day. Instead of waiting for the girls-with-no-name to pounce on us, I marched toward them. My strides were deliberate and resolute, my shoulders squared, and my eyes dared them to make a move.
The tiny cheerleaders that had taken residence in my auditory realms were simultaneously cheering me on while drowning out their pathetic insults as I continued my direct approach. I had been reckless to engage in a collision course that could have led to a terrifying encounter, but I walked away unscathed—victorious, in fact—stronger and smarter. I learned that they were merely looking for victims, not a challenge.
Developing your sense of self.
The road less travelled isn’t just a path—it’s a mindset. It’s about daring to step outside conformity and being brave. It means being unapologetic and unafraid to stand up for what I you believe in, even if it means standing alone. It’s about seeking authenticity over convenience and discovering the extraordinary in the ordinary.